These dreams go on when I close my eyes…

Posted on: February 6, 2012

32 weeks-only 8 (potential) weeks to go before the baby gets here. Eep.

Nothing new under the sun here I suppose. Every mother-blogger does the countdown and the inevitable freakout about the closing in of days.

The nursery is still a mess, shower gifts everywhere, furniture not organized. We also have our “drink station” in there-crystal, wine rack, scotch, vodka. It’s pretty funny when friends stop by to take a look at the paint colors. I have to tell them we’ll be replacing those bottles with other ones, we swear. Please don’t call CPS.

Through all the belly rubbing and glassy smiles I have been happy to see that I am not the only one that fears (okay panics) at the thought of the sleeplessness. In this respect, and many others, I feel that Dan may be much better prepared for this than I am. If I haven’t mentioned it before he can get by easily on about five hours a night. That would make me melt down psychotically on a long term basis. Oh who am I kidding, one night of that makes me pretty fucked up.

The every two hours I wake up to pee each night feels like training for what is to come. I hadn’t thought of it too much until last night as I trudged to the bathroom and sighed. I felt like shit. I was so annoyed. And then I thought, “Get used to it babe, this is it!”

Of course I’m sure my annoyance will be tempered with the fact that I will be getting up to care for the baby. We also plan to keep him/her with us in the bedroom in a bassinet in the beginning so this will minimize my night time travels. I am blind without glasses and we have a shoe addiction that litters the house. I should really do something about that…

Whatever it is-hormones, spiraling fear, an impending sense of doom, waking up at these odd times-the dreams! So weird! And most of them non baby related. Some of Dan’s co workers have asked him if he’s having any sympathy pains/cravings. He thinks this is stupid, but I have to say he has been having messed up dreams, too.

And I guess it’s true-I have carpal tunnel in my left hand which is fucking un-awesome since I am left handed and even drying my hair has become ouchy. It seems to be the worst in the morning when I wake up and lessen as I drink my eleventy millionth glass of water. I was in denial because there are no real visible signs of swelling, my rings are still on (and spinning-it is winter in NY although about 50 degrees but whatevs) but alas, I have strange numbness in a tiny spot on the tip of my middle finger and a sore palm when I make a fist. So much for punching people today…

Superbowl watching for the first time in a long time (I am old, people) without quickly descending into inebriation was odd. Being a Giants fan and Irish, there is always a pessimism and a sense of dread. I’m not the typical New York asshole fan-I never assume that “my” team will win. If I even dare to think that I know I have hopelessly jinxed them and it’s all ruined. Don’t even get me started on the Rangers this season. I should be doing a jig, and I’m freaking out.

Anyhow, drinking would have provided a nice buffer from the stress, but sadly, it couldn’t be. I had one corona. I’ve never selected a beer so carefully in my life. One beer a night? Choose wisely.

I am so looking forward to being with the baby and my husband, enjoying life, love, the outdoors. But I can’t say that I’m not wishing for the day, those summer days, sitting outside, sipping on rum and punch in the afternoon. Ahhh…I love summer, and mommy’s happy juice.

But the Giants won, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Or as much of a breath as Baby Basmati lets me take these days while shoving my lungs ever upward. I told Dan that Baby B will be born under the Chinese zodiac sign of the dragon, supposedly the luckiest sign.

So far so good!


1 Response to "These dreams go on when I close my eyes…"

update please!! 🙂

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  • None
  • babyforbutton: Congrats on Naomi! My baby was born March 15th! Amazing how fast the year has gone by!
  • babyforbutton: update please!! :)
  • reilly873: I've somehow managed to ease the pain the past few nights, but only with some serious, ridiculous pillow arranging. Which is a royal pain in the ass w
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